It's been over a month since Ironman Wisconsin. Unlike last year when I felt high as a kite from finishing my first Ironman, this year has been quite different. It took a couple of days to get perspective - knock the ego out of the way, breathe in a sense of accomplishment, and feel a sincere sense of gratitude for the weeks leading up to and after race day. And a couple more weeks to wanting and having a little time to jot down some thoughts on the experience!
Training had been going well over the summer and I was really feeling good about seeing some results in September. For someone like me who's not chasing a Kona slot or place on the podium, I know I can't "judge" my Ironman on timing alone. Each Ironman I sign up for, has been, will be, and needs to be about the journey...to challenge myself a little more, dig a little deeper, and have some fun.
Even with all of that said, every time someone asked, “So, how much BETTER did you do?” it stung a bit to admit that this year was longer. For all of the time and compromises made to prepare for the Ironman distance, there’s no guarantee to hitting the finish line. Race day did not match up to how training was progressing all summer. I can't say "it doesn't matter", because if I didn't care, I surely wouldn't have any desire to continue to train for this distance. The issue for me is sometimes a finish has to be good enough...and this is one of those races.
I think back on this race and I can still feel two emotions: incredible sadness and an overwhelming amount of love.
The race was 10 days after Bixby, my 14.5 year old pup went up to the big ol' puppy heaven. Swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles, and running (or covering by foot!) 26.2 miles with a heavy heart....seems like it would be normal reaction. Anyone who knows me knows that that pup just filled my heart and soul - she had been the only physical presence day in and out for some of the most challenging days of my life. So how did I show up and go the 140.6 mile distance with a broken heart? Like most truly awesome gifts in my life, it had nothing to do with me. I just soaked up the love and support from my truly amazing family and friends. I trusted my coach that my training prepared me to cover the 140.6 miles. I was ready to start, and one of the lucky ones to get to cross that amazing Ironman Finish line.
Right now I can’t even recall without Google-ing up what any of my times were. I know I reviewed the day from that perspective with my coach and know what I want (and need) to improve for next year. What really sticks with me about this race is SO much bigger than any heart rate zone I was or wasn't in - or any "time" captured by a clock that day. I know what truly fueled me to accomplish finishing that day was simply LOVE. All of the support of my family and friends who walked me through last couple of weeks of Bixby's life (and after) and offered such kind words to me...thank YOU. All of the kind words, hugs, calls, texts, encouragement, and support helped me finish what I set out to do - cross that finish line! I respect the distance and I know it's truly a gift to be able to train and complete these endurance races. I hope my ego never edges the big man upstairs out for too long for me to lose that perspective.
A couple weeks after Ironman, I added another wrist tattoo. Last year, I added tagging IRONMAN onto my swim, (recovery) bike, and run tattoo. I know it's a corporate logo...and I don't care. It is my reminder of my accomplishment and motivation that ANY dream I set my mind to can be achieved. This year I added "Bixby" with a heart and the Ironman distance. The heart is to remind me of the unconditional love I woke up to and came home to everyday. She kept me going to get me to the happy place I am now - I know I have so much in my life today that I am so incredibly grateful to get to trudge the Road of Happy Destiny!
The fall has been quite a transition time getting adjusted to life without my best buddy. I miss her so incredibly much and I know in time, there will be another pup in my life to be incredibly loved, spoiled, and put a huge smile on my face!
Needless to say, Susan surely had her hands full this fall! I can't even begin to describe her amazing support with Ironman and walking me though the Bixby stuff. She trained for Chicago marathon again and showed up at the start line a bit banged up, but pushed through to the finish. It was another lesson to me that we can't always expect the "perfect" time we are shooting for, but doing our best that day is really all we can ask. I'm proud of her for pulling out a finish and can't wait until we can get some of our runs synced up again!
This past weekend we headed to NJ to celebrate my mom's 70th birthday! It was a BLAST! Saturday we spent at the pumpkin farm doing a lot of fun fall things and Sunday we had a surprise family brunch down the shore. Such a gift to be able to spend time with the family ...and a bonus with great weather!
Next up...training for the Philly marathon Nov 18th. I'm finally feeling like I'm going to be ready physically and mentally. A short little off season recovery and then start up training for TWO Ironman races next year. I'm so excited!!!
My "baby Bix" through the years...
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| "School" picture - Obedience Training |
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| The Early days in Cincinnati |
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| Our favorite park in Evanston along the lake |
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| If Bixby wasn't on the couch, I was on the floor with her driving her crazy! |
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| One of the rare moments we braved getting Winnie and Bixby together. |
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| Bixby posing with my first 1/2 Ironman medal. |
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| Bixby always walking in the cold with my hat or gloves! |
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| If Bixby wasn't next to my front wheel when I was on the bike trainer, she was on one of her many Bixby-pads. |
Even with all of that said, every time someone asked, “So, how much BETTER did you do?” it stung a bit to admit that this year was longer. For all of the time and compromises made to prepare for the Ironman distance, there’s no guarantee to hitting the finish line. Race day did not match up to how training was progressing all summer. I can't say "it doesn't matter", because if I didn't care, I surely wouldn't have any desire to continue to train for this distance. The issue for me is sometimes a finish has to be good enough...and this is one of those races.
The race was 10 days after Bixby, my 14.5 year old pup went up to the big ol' puppy heaven. Swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles, and running (or covering by foot!) 26.2 miles with a heavy heart....seems like it would be normal reaction. Anyone who knows me knows that that pup just filled my heart and soul - she had been the only physical presence day in and out for some of the most challenging days of my life. So how did I show up and go the 140.6 mile distance with a broken heart? Like most truly awesome gifts in my life, it had nothing to do with me. I just soaked up the love and support from my truly amazing family and friends. I trusted my coach that my training prepared me to cover the 140.6 miles. I was ready to start, and one of the lucky ones to get to cross that amazing Ironman Finish line.
A couple weeks after Ironman, I added another wrist tattoo. Last year, I added tagging IRONMAN onto my swim, (recovery) bike, and run tattoo. I know it's a corporate logo...and I don't care. It is my reminder of my accomplishment and motivation that ANY dream I set my mind to can be achieved. This year I added "Bixby" with a heart and the Ironman distance. The heart is to remind me of the unconditional love I woke up to and came home to everyday. She kept me going to get me to the happy place I am now - I know I have so much in my life today that I am so incredibly grateful to get to trudge the Road of Happy Destiny!
Needless to say, Susan surely had her hands full this fall! I can't even begin to describe her amazing support with Ironman and walking me though the Bixby stuff. She trained for Chicago marathon again and showed up at the start line a bit banged up, but pushed through to the finish. It was another lesson to me that we can't always expect the "perfect" time we are shooting for, but doing our best that day is really all we can ask. I'm proud of her for pulling out a finish and can't wait until we can get some of our runs synced up again!
This past weekend we headed to NJ to celebrate my mom's 70th birthday! It was a BLAST! Saturday we spent at the pumpkin farm doing a lot of fun fall things and Sunday we had a surprise family brunch down the shore. Such a gift to be able to spend time with the family ...and a bonus with great weather!
